Nieces

I love these two probably more than they will ever know.. I love when I get to babysit them. The first two pictures Madison had my camera while I was in my doctors appointment she decided she would take a few selfies. It's always fun to get on my phone and see what kind of pictures are on there.

Trip to Utah

Well it's been a little over three weeks since our first trip down to Utah and it's been a very stressful three weeks. We met with Dr. Blauer on January 27. I have never been so nervous for anything as I was for this doctor appointment. It was just the unknown that was killing me. I didn't know what to expect at all. But I honestly can say that it was a great appointment. Dr. Blauer is a great guy and very easy to talk to and he made us feel very comfortable. I was for sure thinking going into this appointment that we would start IUI's right off the bat, but Dr. Blauer is having us try Femara for three months and then we will go from there. I had to have another ultra sound done and an HSG as well. When I went in for my ultrasound the doctor couldn't get a real clear picture of my uterus and he was thinking that I might only have half a uterus. He couldn't tell for sure but we would know for sure once I had the HSG.. When I was told I had to have an HSG done they warned me that it is a very painful procedure and to expect very intense cramping for about 15 minutes. An HSG is where they take an X-ray of your uterus and Fallopian Tubes to make sure they all look good and there is no blockage in the Fallopian Tubes. They did offer me some Valium and I didn't give it a second thought I took it in a heartbeat:) I am a baby when it comes to pain!! There were 6 days between the time I had my ultra sound and the time I had to go back for the HSG.. Six long days of waiting, wondering, questioning. What if I did only have half a uterus? I knew that it was a very good possibility and at first I was ok with it, at least I would have an answer as to why I haven't been able to get pregnant and we could start the process of looking into adoption. But as those six days went on I thought about it more and the longing to be able to conceive and have a baby never went away it got stronger and stronger. But what if the HSG showed that I only have half a uterus how would I cope with that reality. I really thought in the beginning that I would be able to do it and that everything would be ok but the more I thought about it the more I prayed that the HSG would show otherwise. As the day arrived for the HSG Todd and I headed to Utah that morning, I was so stressed that I literally made myself sick. Todd was amazing he just kept telling me that everything was going to be ok, he was the strong one out of the two of us and he was going to make sure I believed him. We had to be there 30 minutes before my appointment so I could take the Valium and give it time to kick in before my procedure. The doctor was running behind so we ended up waiting almost an extra 30 minutes. That was the longest hour ever sitting in that waiting room. They took me back and got me all ready and then Todd had to step out because of the radiation. The test only took about three minutes if that. They told me to expect at least 15 minutes but it went really fast and everything looked amazing, the first words out of the doctors mouth once they started the procedure was, "That's a beautiful uterus." Lol I never thought I would be so excited to hear such a thing as that, but at that moment I was so relieved and so grateful. They pushed the dye through my Fallopian Tubes and everything looked really really good. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my Father in Heaven answers prayers. This was one of the several things in my life that I have prayed and prayed about and Heavenly Father heard the pleading of my heart and was there to comfort me and answer those prayers. The Lord has a plan for Todd and I and I know that in that plan we will be parents. We are a step closer to that dream and I can't wait till the day that we get to become parents.

Another step!!

The emotions are running high right now. I just got off the phone with the Reproductive Care Center in Sandy.. We are headed there on January 27 to start our treatments with doctor Blauer.. I know that this is the right thing to do. This is the next step that we have to take in trying to start our family. It has been such an emotional roller coaster so far, and I know it's really only just beginning. When I hung the phone up with them I just started to bawl, this is the last step that we can take in becoming parents, it is terrifying to think that there is a chance that this won't work and I might never be able to be a mother. I have faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but I also know that it is on their timeline and there is a possibility that I might not get the chance to be a mother on this earth. And that is very heartbreaking for me. I look all around me and see these wonderful ladies who get to be mothers to several children and I just long to get the chance to have a child of my own. I want that chance to be able to experience the joy and also the pain and frustration that kids bring. So many people take their kids for granted and I wish I could just shake them and tell them how lucky they 

are to get to be parents and get to have children. Children are one of the greatest blessing I think we can have while here on this earth, and I just pray that I get the chance to experience that amazing blessing. 

Happy New Year

We had a wonderful New Year's Eve.. We spent the first part of it cheering on BOISE STATE!! It was a great game, lets be honest I couldn't sit there and watch the last quarter. I was up and doing stuff and checking back every so often, it was a great game and I am proud to be a BRONCO fan.. The rest of the night we just played games and kept eating food:) then on New Year's Day we went sledding as a family up by Yost. It was a lot of fun I could spend all day everyday out playing in the snow.. Happy 2015 everyone!

Christmas Time

When we got back from Vegas I got to babysit these cuties and I got to do their elf on the shelf for them it was a lot of fun. they were so shocked on how their elf got to my house. Madison told me he must have a key to my house:) Oh their imaginations.

The Saturday before Christmas we went up to Albion to their live Nativity that they put on every year. WOW!! It was a wonderful experience. You could feel the spirit so strong. It really got me in the Christmas Spirit.

We had a wonderful Christmas we spent Christmas Eve up in Hailey with Todd's family. It was a lot of fun. We had a good game of Scum going on and the girls dominated. Then on Christmas we spent in with my family and then went to Almo and spent time with my moms family. It was a wonderful Christmas. The roads were really bad so Lindsay and her family wasn't able to make it out so on the 26th we took all their presents into them and then went out to dinner. So it was like Christmas lasted two days I loved it:) I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I am so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ and for the opportunity that we have to celebrate his birth! Merry Christmas everyone!! 

Las Vegas

Thanksgiving was a good day, we spent the day here in Malta with my family. Then the next day we went to Twin to do a little shopping and when I say little that is what I mean haha, we went a bought hair spray and a couple chrome casts:) I do not like to shop on Black Friday, people are crazy and it just seems to ruin the Christmas Spirit so I stay as far away as I can. That night we went to Rupert to the Square for the lighting of the square it was a lot of fun.

Then the next weekend is when we left for Vegas. Its crazy how I wait all year for this vacation and then once it gets here it goes by so fast. We left on Saturday the 6 and drove to Mesquite where we stayed the night. We got there really early this year. I think we were all excited to get going cause we left Malta an hour earlier than what we had planned:) So since we were in Mesquite so early we decided to go bowling. I am horrible at bowling but it is still fun. The next day we headed to Vegas. It was a very fun week in Vegas. We got a Power Pass for one day and it included all this stuff you can go do. So we went to the Wax Museum, Rode the Ferris Wheel (High Roller), went to the Dolphin Habitat, went to the top of the Eifel Tower and rode the Roller Coaster. I loved the roller coaster I couldn't stop laughing the whole time. It was Todd's first time on a roller coaster so it was a good time. He enjoyed it as well.

We went to the Tournament of Kings one night that was a lot of fun. We also did Fremont Street, The Fountains, and the Volcano. One night Tara, Todd and I went to Joe's Crab Shack and ate it was a fun night:) The last night we were in Vegas Todd and I just walked the strip and explored.

One day we spent a long time at the trade shows so by the time we got back to our rooms all of our feet were killing us so we filled up our bathtub with cold water and put ice in it and soaked our feet. I don't think we have laughed that hard in a long time. It was a great trip to Vegas this year!

                                     

 

 

 

Once again it has been forever since I last blogged. We have been really busy this fall. I can't believe it is the middle of November we head to Vegas in 2 1/2 weeks. I am so excited to get away. The last two weeks has been a really trying time for me. I finished my last round of Clomid in October and unfortunately we were still unable to conceive. The same day that I found out I was not pregnant Todd was headed home from work and hit a cow. It totaled the car, luckily he was ok. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and that he kept Todd safe that night. I am so grateful for the power of prayer.
As far as trying to start a family our next step is a fertility clinic. I have researched several down in Utah but I still feel like I am walking into a black hole blind folded. I have so many questions and I don't even know where to begin. I am so worried about the finical part of it. I never thought in a million years that I would have to worry if I was going to be a mom and now that is all I think about and I spend sleepless nights wondering about what the future holds for Todd and I, if we will ever get the opportunity to be parents. And how much money do we put into s fertility clinic before we consider other options; and if those other options are maybe adoption where do we even start with that? Thats a whole other ball game. I just feel so lost right now I just wish I could get some answers,
On October 16 Todd and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. I can't believe we have been married for five years, it has gone by so fast. We went to Idaho falls for a couple days, we got a room at the black swan inn. It was a nice little getaway. Breakfast was wonderful. We stayed in the Rome room.