I have debated whether or not I should write about this on here, but I have decided that I am going to cause it is easier for me to type than to write so I am going to just start using this more like my journal. So here is your warning if you don't want to read about things that are going on in my life, you should probably stop reading now. 

     On April 15 I had a doctors appointment with Mindy Brown in Twin. We have been trying to for 2 1/2 years to get pregnant and we have had no luck. I was almost a month late with my last period so we were really thinking that I could possibly be pregnant, we wanted to wait till I was exactly a month late to take a test to see if we were expecting or not. So I had been in twin working on a Friday

and I had picked up a pregnancy test becaus the next Wednesday was going to be a month, well that Saturday the very next day I had my menstral cycle show up. I was devasted I really thought that I was pregnant because I was having really bad nausea and was very dizzy. So this was the last straw for me. (I know I probably should have made this appointment a long time ago but let's be honest I really do not like doctors).... So I called Mindys office that Monday and set up an appointment which was two weeks out. It was a very long two weeks because by this time I have made up my mind I am ready to get answers and find out what is going on. So the 15 finally came and my mom went with me to the appointment Todd had to go back to work so he was unable to go with me. I am so very grateful that my mom was able to go with me. The first appointment we didn't do too much but Mindy was pretty sure I had PCOS.. Which I was thinking that what I had as well since my mom has it and I have had several of the symptoms. So she started me on Metformin that day and then I had to go back on the 18 and have an ultrasound and bloodwork done. And then on the 22 we went back and had Todd tested. 

       On the 24 Mindy's nurse Emily called with the results. She told me Todd was good to go so I knew right then and there that something was wrong with me. Ever since we have had troubles trying to get pregnant I was always saying that I was hoping that it was me and not Todd because I was strong and I could handle it. But in that very moment I was devastated I wasn't ready to hear what the test results had to say I was wishing that there was someway that it wasn't me. I wasn't strong anymore.. Emily told me that I do have PCOS and that I am not ovulating. She also told me that my prolactin levels are high, they consider high to be 18.6 and mine are at a 21.4... So in a month I will have to go back in and have some more blood work done to see if these levels have come down. A lot of the time they are associated with PCOS but if they are still high then I have to have a MRI done to see of I might possible have a tumor on my pituitary gland. At this point in the conversation I lost all the strength I thought I had. I knew I had to keep myself under control while I was on the phone. Luckily my mom stopped by after school that day because she was headed visiting teaching and I was able to just cry in her arms. No ones wants to be told that they could possible have a tumor. Since receiving this news I have done a lot of research and it says that these tumors are usually non-cancerous. Which I'm praying that if I do have a tumor this is case. 

       So this is where we are at right now with everything, waiting to go back to do another blood test. All I want is the opportunity to be a mom and Todd to be a father. I know that this is all in Gods hands and that he has a plan for our family. This is just one of the roadblock that we have to overcome.